AVfM Radio: Think with the big head

AVfM Radio: Think with the big head

by Paul Elam

PLEASE NOTE THAT THE SHOW TIME HAS CHANGED TO 8 PM EST!

Please join us Monday, April 9, 2012 at 8pm EST when Paul Elam of AVoiceforMen and Dr Tara Palmatier of Shrink4Men will discuss the merits of thinking with your big head instead your “little head” and your lower brain. Too many otherwise intelligent men get themselves into trouble by choosing romantic partners based solely upon physical attraction and sabotage potentially good relationships or stay in bad ones out of fear.

Physical attraction is important, but if what lies beneath the surface is ugly and incredibly damaged, you’re not using your big head. If you sacrifice your self-respect and integrity to please a woman, you’re using your little head. If you sacrifice your self-respect and integrity because you believe you can’t live without some woman, you’re using your lower or “reptilian” brain because you’re allowing fear to guide your behavior.

We’ll also discuss how to engage both your reason and emotion in your relationships with women. Reason and emotion do not have to be antagonists and making proper use of both is one path toward having more satisfying relationships.

As always, the phone lines will be open, so if you have a story about allowing your little head or lower brain to do the thinking for you or how you’ve been able to get your self-respect in alignment with what you will and will not tolerate in a partner, give us a call at +1 310 388 9709.

SHOW PAGE

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/avoiceformen/2012/04/10/thinking-with-the-big-head-instead-of-the-little-head

PARENTING ALERT: CONVICTED CHIEF JUDGE PROMOTED ON WALLS OF NEW YORK’S HIGH COURT‏

As we reach the two week mark in our Founding Fathers March on Washington, another protest may be brewing at the courthouse steps of New York’s high court in Albany. It comes in the wake of a formal complaint issued to current Chief Judge Jonathan Lippman by parental advocate Dr. Leon Koziol regarding a political poster featured on the courthouse walls. Convicted criminal and former Chief Judge Sol Wachtler is presently being advertised as a former candidate on the Republican line for judgeship to this same court. For those of you unfamiliar with Mr. Wachtler, he was prosecuted for blackmail, racketeering and stalking a former lover, among other crimes during the nineties, even using court personnel to target a New Jersey lawyer for purposes of impairing his law license.

It all resulted in a guilty plea and federal prison term for Wachtler. Yet our highest court continues to praise him as a man of “integrity” on our public courthouse walls. The complaint underscores the need for parents to be vigilant of their rights and to protect their children from judges themselves. To be sure, Judge Wachtler threatened to kidnap his ex-lover’s child with audacity to send condoms to her 14 year old daughter! You can see why the Parenting Rights Institute and National League of Fathers, Inc. are joining forces with other concerned groups to protest corruption in our courts. Help us by organizing your friends and family in a peaceful demonstration on the west lawn of Senate Park in our nation’s capital on April 20, 2012. Kindly pass this on to others and exploit any media contacts that you may have.

See a copy of the recently filed complaint (Click Here)

Custodial Parents Party (Equal Parenting).

Hi to Everyone.

Thank you very much for your support.
The Party Secretary submitted our Party’s list of members of 500+  to the Australian Electoral Commission on 2 April 2012.
The AEC will now randomly ring 30 members from that list. This should be sometime within the next couple of weeks (then email or mail only if they cannot contact these members by phone).
If you are contacted, the AEC will simply ask you if you are a member of the Non-Custodial Parents Party (Equal Parenting).
It would be very much appreciated if you would say yes.
We need the AEC to be able to contact between 28 and 30 of these selected members and for at least 28 members to say yes to that question. This is to allow us to stay registered as a political party.
In the past, we have had the maximum number of selected members say yes.
Also, from our previous experience, the AEC will not ask any other questions – this is other than if you are a member of the Party.
Thank you.
Regards
John Flanagan
Non-Custodial Parents Party (Equal Parenting)
for Andrew Thompson,
      Party Secretary,
      Non-Custodial Parents Party (Equal Parenting)
John Flanagan
PLEASE SIGN AND FOWARD OUR PETITION …

This is a petition of Australian citizens. We draw to the attention of the House that children have the right to have

meaningful contact with both parents after divorce or separation.

To achieve this, we the undersigned request that the family law legislation has the following changes added

‘CLICK’ for PDF link …

 to it:

1. 50/50 automatic custody unless there is evidence of family violence and it is proven.

2. Superannuation must not be considered or included as part of the property settlement in the family law

legislation, when both parents are working.

3. When any parent who breaches access orders, penalties are to be imposed, such as double the existing access

orders. If the offending parent changes their living address in anyway manner or form without notifying the other

parent; the C.S.A. and the family law court must consider change of custody and at the minimum put the

offending parent on final written notice that custody will be reversed should it happen ever again.

4. In any case, the offending parent is to pay all costs for both parents and compensatory access is compulsory.

5. It is recognized that child-parental separation is caused by a parent breaching access orders and is to be

legislated against by the Parliament, as set out above.

‘CLICK’ for PDF link …

The ‘experts’ who break up families

The terrifying story of the prospective MP branded an unfit mother by experts who’d never met her – a nightmare shared by many other families

By Sue Reid – Mail
29 March 2012

                       

A little over a year ago, Lucy Allan led what most people would regard as an eminently respectable life. The middle-class mother, a Tory councillor, was happily married to her stockbroker husband, Robin, and doted on their ten-year-old son, who loved going to school and was a passionate cricketer.

Indeed, such was Mrs Allan’s standing in the community that this accountant and former investment banker was on David Cameron’s A-list of potential MPs and a prospective Conservative candidate at the last election. She devoted her spare time to her council duties. Twice a month, she sat on the local fostering panel, which oversaw the removal of children from their parents and placed them with new families.

It was heart-rending work, as she recalls. ‘At each fostering meeting we were presented with horrifying cases of abusive parents, almost always depicted as “substance abusers”, mentally unstable or “unable to put the needs of their children over their own needs”.

‘Often, this portrayal was supported by an expert report from a psychiatrist, psychologist or medical doctor,’ says Lucy.

‘It never occurred to me, or any member of the panel, that the information we were presented with might be a distorted, twisted fiction — or that the reports were anything other than independent.’

Now, her view has changed. She suspects that many of the damning reports were written by experts who had never met the families in question, to suit the wishes of social workers under pressure from the Government to increase the number of children adopted.

As a result of this process, more and more children are being taken into state foster care.

So why has her faith in the system she once facilitated been shattered? Because, thanks to a bewildering chain of events, this eloquent, educated woman found herself under attack from social workers and fighting to stop her own son being taken into care.

Social workers took away our baby for nine months: With no evidence against them, couple were banned from looking after their son

Hers is a Kafkaesque story involving family experts who passed judgment on her fitness as a mother without, in some cases, even meeting her.

Lucy’s story is particularly disturbing in the light of a report released this month which found that decisions about the futures of thousands of children are being based on flawed evidence from well-paid ‘experts’, some of whom are unqualified and, time and again, never meet the families concerned.

The damning study by Professor Jane Ireland, a forensic psychologist, examined more than 127 expert witness reports used in family court cases in three areas of England. She found that 90 per cent were produced by clinicians who no longer practise, but instead earn their living entirely as ‘professional expert witnesses’ paid for by council social work departments. Sixty-five per cent of the reports were poorly or very poorly carried out.

This has led to accusations from MPs, lawyers and families that many of the experts are on a gravy train — ‘hired guns’ paid to write precisely what social workers want to read.

This month the Mail reported how just such an accusation has been levelled against one leading psychiatrist, Dr George Hibbert — who faces allegations that he deliberately misdiagnosed parents as having mental disorders, which led to them having their children taken by social services.

John Hemming, a Lib Dem MP who is calling for a national inquiry into the use of expert testimonies in family court hearings, says this dubious system has resulted in families being torn apart and hundreds of children being wrongly taken for adoption from innocent parents.

It is a scenario Lucy Allan feared could happen with her own son. Her nightmare began last March when, aged 46, and having begun to feel depressed for no apparent reason, she decided to go to see a doctor.

‘I am close to my son, so I was worried that he knew I was feeling sad. I went to my local GP surgery expecting to be given a course of anti-depressants and then feel better,’ she recalls.

She was seen by a young female locum, who listened to what Lucy had to say, and then told her she wanted to refer her to social services to ‘see if the family needed support’.

The locum turned to Dr Peter Green, a consultant forensic physician and head of child safeguarding in Wandsworth, South London, where Lucy lives. A flamboyant figure with flowing grey hair and a penchant for bow ties, he has written thousands of reports for the family courts.

According to documents seen by the Allan family, Dr Green told the locum his view was that Lucy was ‘very self-centred’ — this despite the fact he had never set eyes on Lucy or spoken to her. (When she later complained about the conclusions he had drawn without even having seen her, the doctor is alleged to have told her he had relied on a ‘gut feel’).
Families torn apart: Liberal Democrat MP John Hemming has called for a nationwide inquiry into the use of expert testimonies in family court hearings

Families torn apart: Liberal Democrat MP John Hemming has called for a nationwide inquiry into the use of expert testimonies in family court hearings

To Lucy’s horror, following Dr Green’s assessment, the locum informed social services that Lucy’s son was at significant risk of harm from his mother.

Thus it was that a woman whose job it had been to make decisions on the fostering panel about which children should be removed from their families suddenly found herself under the most intense scrutiny.

‘Instead of reading reports on another mother’s “emotionally abused” child or her “chaotic” home life, I was reading the same accusations in reports about me and my family,’ she says.

Social services insisted they interview her son, but as the inquiry unfolded, the evidence from his teachers suggested he was happy and thriving. An independent report from a NHS psychiatrist also said Lucy was ‘no risk to anyone, including her son’.

But social services hired their own psychiatrist from the Priory Hospital in Roehampton, south-west London — at taxpayers’ expense naturally.
‘Instead of reading reports on another mother’s “emotionally abused” child or her “chaotic” home life, I was reading the same accusations in reports about me and my family’
Lucy Allan

Without meeting Lucy or her son, and based only on information provided by social services, the private psychiatrist stated in an ‘expert’ report that there was an ‘urgent need’ for the assessment and treatment of Lucy.

The psychiatrist added that there was ‘no way’ her depression would not have a ‘significant impact on her parenting’.

As the investigation dragged on, Lucy underwent a series of interviews by social services and by experts paid by them to examine her and her family. Many of their subsequent reports, says Lucy, were inaccurate, biased and took her family’s words out of context.

For example, her son had mentioned that when he got off the school bus, he always asked Lucy how she was, but this was described in one report as: ‘Her son demonstrates inappropriate anxiety for the wellbeing of his mother on a daily basis.’

When Lucy admitted taking sleeping pills for insomnia and diazepam for anxiety, another report on her said such ‘drug abuse would make her barely conscious on a daily basis’.

Her confession of sharing a bottle of wine with husband Robin most nights was written up as ‘alcohol abuse’, and the risk of Lucy harming her son was deemed to be ‘substantiated’.

All this begs the question of how often such judgments are passed down by ‘experts’ and social workers on those less well equipped than Lucy to defend themselves.

She has spent the past year trying to clear her name, paid out £10,000 on legal fees and has had to pull herself off the A-list of David Cameron’s potential Tory candidates, quit as a school governor, and, of course, resign from the fostering panel. ‘I am now ineligible for the Criminal Record Bureau check required for working with children or young people,’ she says sadly. Her son’s social services records state that she was once considered a ‘risk’ to him, and it will remain on his file till he is 18.

Finally, at Christmas, the council’s social services said officially no action was required concerning Lucy. She is trying to rebuild her life with the help of husband Robin — who, incredibly, was never interviewed by social services — but still fears she could come under scrutiny again.
‘Alcohol abuse’: Social Services’ verdict on Lucy’s confession that she and her husband shared a bottle most evenings

The system is designed to silence people,’ she says. ‘I have been prescribed anti-depressants and I am better. But at the back of my mind is the fear that if I complain too loudly about the child protection system they will be back at my door.’

No doubt she would agree with Nigel Priestley, a lawyer involved in family law, who said recently: ‘Just about the most draconian act the state can carry out is to remove a family’s child. What is at stake is the loss of their children, and on the basis of a report which might, or might not be, questionable.’

Those who write these reports — often psychologists or psychiatrists, but also medical doctors and consultants — do not face the glare of public scrutiny precisely because of the secrecy of the family court system. Lucy can describe her ordeal only because her case never got as far as those closed courts — no parent who appears at one of these hearings, which operate in every town and city in the land, is allowed to speak to anyone later about what has happened there, even to their own MP.

Every year, 200 mothers or fathers are jailed for ‘contempt of court’ for breaking this silence — while the same family courts request the removal of 225 children each week, 97 per cent of whom are never returned to their families.

Now, there are demands for an American-style ‘class’ legal action against the Government by parents who have had dubious or even bogus reports written about them. Paul Grant, a legal adviser at Bernard Chill & Axtell Solicitors in Southampton, says devastated parents have contacted him after his firm took on the case of a mother, known only as Miss A, who claims she was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder by psychiatrist Dr George Hibbert because social workers wanted her baby adopted.

Now, Hibbert could be struck off by the General Medical Council, which is investigating extraordinary suggestions that he deliberately misdiagnosed ‘caring’ mothers as having ‘personality disorders’ in order to help social workers take away children.

When he was confronted with the allegation about Miss A, Hibbert offered to surrender his licence to practise as a doctor.

This week, his spokesman said he is ‘unable to comment due to his professional duty of confidentiality’. But I have learned that Porsche-driving Dr Hibbert amassed up to half-a-million pounds a year from his work as an expert witness, and from his reports on parents and children for social services departments.

Accounts for his company, Assessment in Care Ltd, show that profits soared from £23,000 in 2001 to a peak of £468,000 in 2007. It is now worth £2.7million, according to Companies’ House records.

Paul Grant says that Miss A’s distressing case ‘may be the tip of a very large iceberg’. He adds: ‘We contend that when a practising clinician becomes a professional expert witness with a private company, there is no registration process, and no machinery to vet what they do.

‘By failing to put in a regulatory framework, we would argue that the state is failing to protect families under Article 8 of the Human Rights Act, which says everyone has the right to a private and family life.’

As Dr Hibbert’s professional conduct comes under scrutiny, it is emerging that he is not the only one whose actions are being questioned.

The Mail has been contacted by scores of parents who believe they have been mistreated on the word of these ‘experts’. We have been told by lawyers about clinicians charging £1,800 a day to appear at family courts, on top of the thousands of pounds a time they receive for writing the reports, which often contain lies, ambiguities and insinuations.

One mother said she had her children taken away because an ‘expert’ said she ‘liked shopping’; another was criticised as mentally unfit for ‘burning the toast’, and lost her child, too.

In another case, an expert was paid handsomely to write a report based on the observations of a social worker who said a five-year-old girl was ‘monosyllabic’.
‘By failing to put in a regulatory framework, we would argue that the state is failing to protect families under Article 8 of the Human Rights Act, which says everyone has the right to a private and family life’
Paul Grant, legal adviser at Bernard Chill & Axtell Solicitors

Yet we are told a secret tape recording of the social worker’s interview showed the child chatting away about school, her family and her home. The little girl has since been removed from her mother.

We have also been told about a gregarious 47-year-old business adviser in the north of England who had to fight to keep her five-year-old daughter after being labelled a ‘totally isolated schizoid’ by a psychologist, who we understand is trained only to treat children, and should never have been involved in the analysis of adult behaviour.

The psychologist in question (who writes up to 100 expert reports a year) charged £6,000 for his written opinion on the mother, her husband and child. Yet the mother says she was given no chance to deny the ‘schizoid’ report — and kept her girl by the skin of her teeth only after the child’s nanny vouched for her parenting skills.

In another extraordinary case, after a woman was found by a psychologist to be a ‘competent mother’, the social workers are said to have insisted on commissioning a second expert’s report. It agreed with the first.

They then commissioned a third, which finally found that the mother had a ‘borderline personality disorder’. All three of her children were taken away for adoption.

So how have such apparent travesties been allowed to go on virtually unchecked in child protection?

Knee-jerk reaction? Since the harrowing case of baby Peter Connelly more youngsters than ever before in British history are being removed from families every week

No other country in Western Europe removes so many children from their parents. The numbers taken into care — the first step towards adoption — have doubled in a decade to more than 10,000 a year.

The last Labour government set adoption targets and rewarded local councils with hundreds of thousands of pounds if they reached them.

The targets have been scrapped after protests from MPs and lawyers, but the dangerous legacy persists. Social workers now get praise and promotion if they raise adoption numbers. David Cameron is also demanding more adoptions — and that they are fast-tracked.

Since the case of 17-month-old Baby P, more youngsters than ever before in British history are being removed from families every week. Many say this is a knee-jerk reaction, which is probably true. But it’s not the whole story.
‘It’s time the criminal rules of justice applied in the family courts. We need parents to be considered innocent until proven guilty’
Ian Joseph, author and expert on forced adoption

It is the 1989 Children Act — which introduced a blanket secrecy in the family courts — that is the real culprit. It encouraged a lack of public scrutiny in the child protection system and what MP John Hemming calls the ‘twaddle and psychobabble’ peddled there, which has caused dreadful miscarriages of justice.

Ian Joseph, who has written a book on forced adoption, told me this week: ‘It’s time the criminal rules of justice applied in the family courts. We need parents to be considered innocent until proven guilty and also be free to talk about what is happening in those courts without being thrown into jail.’

Until that happens, hundreds more children may be seized from their families on the word of experts — many of whom are either not qualified or are receiving huge sums of money to play God.

DAY 26 of the Parenting Papers and April 20th March on Washington: “Willie the Wusse”

Those of you following our site already know that April 20, 2012 has been set for the Founding Fathers March on Washington at Senate Park on the West Lawn of the Capitol. Designed to promote parenting equality and court reform, it was announced in November, 2011, see related details at www.leonkoziol.com. This week we sent final notices to various supporters and groups known to us. We intend to publish their involvement, if any, so that you might learn whether your group or contributions are producing results. Please share this message with others.

Now, in our final countdown, we feature short stories from callers and e-mailers as promised in a recent post. We call them the “Parenting Papers”. They are intended to stimulate attendance at next month’s event because our court victims apparently believe that it’s someone else’s job to protest for them- and of course reform will not occur with this kind of lame attitude. These stories are based on real events. However, names and content have been edited to protect the sources. Our third story of this series, Day 26, is entitled: “Willie the Wusse”.

Willie Wusse loved attention. In high school he was the basketball star and football quarterback. Never quite good enough for professional sports, however, Willie eventually settled into jobs as a phys-ed teacher and bouncer at a popular local club. He never liked the idea of a long term romance, but he loved his twin boys of a five year relationship. That ended not long ago when his woman decided that a man was needed who would not disrespect her as often as Willie had.

Despite a flexible childrearing arrangement, it was only a matter of time when tensions would flare up over lovers and parenting substitutes. As one of the sisters explained, “Girl, you can’t let your man go around havin’ a good time with money that needs to go to yer kids, and what they doin’ with that nasty bee anyway, makin’ like the children are hers?” Of course, the instigator knew nothing about Willie’s new girlfriend. She was simply parroting the gossip of unhappy people jealous of others who don’t live down to their levels.

But the real irony of it all was that Willie had given his ex everything that she demanded, full control of the children, and just enough money so that he could move on with his own life. The new woman was actually paying most of his bills so that the boys could have a place to “visit” as “the law” decreed it. The last thing Willie needed was a custody battle to get the “respect” he deserved as a good father. He wisely understood that money spent on lawyers was wasted because he faced multiple prejudices in America’s domestic relations courts.

For starters, Willie was black and male, and everyone knew that parenting added yet another roadblock to justice. Before he had a chance to present anything, he was stereotyped as the proverbial dead beat dad. His burden of proof was artificially elevated in this manner because of conditions acquired at birth. No half-baked lawyer was going to advise him of this as long as there was a fee to be taken. So why take a chance of losing his cool and getting a rap for some crime caused by a jealous woman exploiting a racist and sexist court system?

To put it bluntly, Willie was doing his best to live the life that society had in mind for him. And when Obama came out every Father’s Day preaching about African-American fathers who needed to step up to the plate, Willie knew that his president’s Harvard education hadn’t done him much good, not on this subject anyway. Willie had it in mind to make his plight known to the NAACP, or to join in a protest on Washington, but for all his show, Willie was quite the wusse when it came to standing up for his God-given rights.

Recently Willie showed it all off to the brothers at the gym.“Protest?” he laughed,“you gotta be kidding me, I got no time for it. That’s some body else’s job”. In fact all the boys thought the same, that’s why lawyers reaped the benefits, such that Willie’s great grandfather might have turned over in his grave. You see, the elder Willie protested with the likes of Martin Luther King Jr. when no one had money and lives were always at risk. So when Willie Wusse got six months instead of the usual 90 days on a first time child support offense, no one was there to hear his gripes. In Willie’s words, “that was some body else’s job.”

FREE legal assistance will be available to parents who are dealing with the abduction of a child from Australia.

internation-child-abduction-assistance

The federal government has reached an agreement for new funding with the International Social Services (ISS) to provide the new service.

ISS already provides counselling and mediation services which are funded by the Attorney-General’s Department.

Federal Attorney-General Nicola Roxon said the service is designed to provide practical support to parents in distressing circumstances.

“We want to make it as straightforward as possible for parents to get the assistance they need when dealing with the abduction of their children from Australia,” Ms Roxon said in a statement.

ISS can be contacted by phoning 1300 657 843 or online at www.iss.org.au

Tasmania Family Law Court Protests

Tasmania Family Law Court Protests

27th March Hobart
9.00am Parliment House Hobart
1.00pm Family Law Court, Hobart

28th March Burnie
9.00am Burnie Federal Magistrates Court
1.00pm Child Protection Office, Burnie

29th March Launceston
9.00am Launceston Family Law Court
1.00pm Child Protection Office, Launceston

NOTICE TO HOLD A PUBLIC ADDRESS
Anyone who wants to turn up needs to let me know if they can as I will have
to advise of numbers on the forms for completion with the local police.

Email here for more information

DON’T FORGET….WE HAVE WIGS….WE HAVE GOWNS….
WE HAVE COFFINS….WE HAVE T-SHIRTS….WE HAVE SIGNS…..
WE HAVE A MEGAPHONE…….WE ARE LOUD…..WE WON’T BE SILENCED.

SUPPORT OF US THAT ARE GOING TO THE ROLLING PROTESTS IN
TASMANIA COMMENCING ON 27TH MARCH AT PARLIMENT HOUSE, HOBART.

Look out for photos and stories in local newspapers and also news reports on the TV.